Cruise ships have mastered the art of making you feel like you’re getting an amazing deal while quietly draining your wallet through a thousand tiny cuts. Sure, your cabin and basic meals are included, but almost everything else comes with a price tag that would make a casino blush. From Wi-Fi that costs more than your monthly internet bill to photos that cost enough to fund a small vacation, cruise lines have turned nickel-and-diming into an art form.
The cruise industry knows you’re trapped on their floating city for a week, and they’re not shy about taking advantage. Here is a list of 20 cruise ship activities that will have you questioning whether that ‘all-inclusive’ vacation was such a bargain after all.
Specialty Restaurant Dining
Those fancy steakhouses and sushi bars look tempting, but you’ll pay restaurant prices for food that’s often just marginally better than the buffet. A dinner for two can easily run $100-150, and that’s before drinks and tips.
The portions are smaller, the service isn’t necessarily better, and you’re still on a ship where everything arrives pre-frozen.
Wi-Fi Packages
Cruise ship internet makes airport Wi-Fi look like a bargain. You’ll pay anywhere from $15-30 per day for connection speeds that would have been embarrassing in 2005.
The ‘unlimited’ packages come with numerous restrictions and throttling, making checking your email an exercise in patience.
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Professional Photos
Those roving photographers aren’t just being friendly—they’re setting up one of the cruise industry’s biggest money grabs. A single 8×10 photo costs around $20–25, and a package of digital photos can run $200–300.
You’re paying premium prices for pictures taken with equipment that’s decent at best.
Shore Excursions Through the Cruise Line
Booking excursions through the ship is like buying concert tickets from a scalper. You’ll pay 2–3 times what the same tour costs if you book it yourself once you’re in port.
A simple city tour that locals charge $30 for becomes a $90 ‘curated experience’ when the cruise line arranges it.
Specialty Coffee and Smoothies
That innocent-looking coffee cart will charge you $4–6 for drinks that would cost half that at any decent coffee shop on land. The smoothie bar is even worse, with fruit drinks that cost $8–10 for what amounts to frozen fruit and some juice.
Your cruise fare covers basic coffee, but anything with foam costs extra.
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Laundry and Dry Cleaning Services
Washing a simple shirt costs around $3–5, and dry cleaning a dress can run $15–20. For a week-long cruise, doing laundry can easily cost $50–100 per person.
The prices are so outrageous that many experienced cruisers pack dirty clothes to wash at home rather than use the ship’s services.
Casino Gaming
Cruise ship casinos have some of the worst odds you’ll find anywhere, with house edges that would make Las Vegas dealers feel guilty. The minimum bets are higher, the payouts are lower, and there’s nowhere to escape when you’re losing.
It’s gambling with all the excitement sucked out and replaced with desperation.
Spa Treatments and Massages
A basic massage that costs $80 on land becomes a $150–200 experience at sea. The spa packages are even more outrageous, with ‘couples treatments’ that can run $400–500 for services that aren’t significantly better than what you’d get at a decent day spa.
They’re betting on the captive audience and vacation mentality.
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Room Service Delivery Fees
Even though you’ve already paid for the food in your cruise fare, getting it delivered to your room costs an additional $3–8 per order. This fee applies even for simple things like coffee or fruit, turning a free snack into an expensive convenience.
The delivery times are often longer than pizza delivery on land.
Arcade Games
The arcade games cost twice what you’d pay at any entertainment center on shore, with prizes that would embarrass a county fair. Kids can burn through $20–30 in minutes playing games that haven’t been updated since the 1990s.
The ticket redemption prizes are marked up so high that you’re essentially buying keychains for $10 each.
Wine Tastings and Beverage Seminars
These ‘educational’ experiences cost $25-40 per person for tiny pours of wine that wouldn’t fill a shot glass. You’ll taste 4–5 wines over 45 minutes while listening to a sommelier read from a script.
The wines they’re pushing are usually available in the ship’s store at inflated prices.
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Art Auctions
Cruise art auctions are legendary for selling mass-produced prints as ‘original artwork’ at prices that would make auction houses laugh. You’ll pay thousands for pieces that are worth hundreds, if that.
The high-pressure sales tactics and champagne are designed to separate you from your money while you’re feeling relaxed and generous.
Fitness Classes and Personal Training
Basic fitness classes, which are often free at community centers, typically cost $15–25 per session on cruise ships. Personal training sessions run $75–100 per hour with trainers who may or may not have legitimate certifications.
The equipment is often outdated, and the facilities are cramped compared to land-based gyms.
Phone and Data Roaming Charges
Making phone calls from international waters triggers roaming charges that can cost $2–5 per minute. Data usage gets even more expensive, with some cruise lines charging $15–20 per megabyte.
A single Instagram post could cost you $50 in data charges if you’re not careful with your phone settings.
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Specialty Ice Cream and Desserts
Those premium ice cream shops and dessert bars charge $4–8 for treats that cost half that at any ice cream parlor on land. The portions are smaller, the variety is limited, and you’re already surrounded by free desserts at the buffet.
It’s paying premium prices for the privilege of eating sugar in a different location.
Shopping Onboard
The ship’s shops mark up everything from souvenirs to jewelry by 200–400% compared to prices you’d find in port. That ‘duty-free’ shopping is rarely duty-free, and the selection is limited to overpriced cruise line-branded merchandise and tourist trinkets.
The jewelry sales are particularly notorious for inflated prices and questionable quality.
Go-Kart Racing and Premium Activities
The newest cruise ships feature go-kart tracks that charge $15–20 for a few laps around a tiny circuit. Other premium activities like skydiving simulators or rock climbing cost extra despite being major selling points for the ship.
You’re paying theme park prices for activities that last a fraction of the time.
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Cooking Classes and Culinary Experiences
These hands-on cooking experiences cost $50–75 per person for basic lessons that teach you things you could learn from YouTube. The ingredients are the same ones used in the regular dining rooms, just prepared in a different setting.
You’re paying for the novelty of cooking on a ship rather than learning anything particularly valuable.
Mini Golf and Sports Activities
Some cruise lines charge for mini golf, basketball courts, or other sports activities that used to be included in your fare. These fees range from $5–15 per person per session for facilities that are often poorly maintained.
You’re paying extra to use amenities that are advertised as part of the cruise experience.
Premium Seating for Shows and Events
Getting a decent seat for the ship’s entertainment often requires an additional fee of $10–25 per person. These ‘premium’ seats are sometimes just regular theater seats that aren’t blocked by pillars or located behind tall passengers.
You’re paying extra for what should be basic accessibility to included entertainment.
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The Real Cost of ‘All-Inclusive’ Cruising
The cruise industry has perfected the bait-and-switch better than any timeshare salesman ever could. What starts as an affordable vacation quickly becomes a lesson in death by a thousand cuts, where every convenience, upgrade, or moment of spontaneous fun comes with a price tag attached.
The ‘all-inclusive’ promise has been whittled down to mean little more than a floating hotel room and basic cafeteria food. Modern cruising has evolved into a carefully orchestrated system designed to make you feel cheap for not spending extra, turning what should be a relaxing vacation into a constant series of financial decisions.
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